Girlfriend: FFVII style!
by hellobabybunnies
Summary: The title basically explains it all. CloudxTifa, Aerith bashing. Rated M for swearing.


Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII. Or the awesome song 'Girlfriend' by Avril Lavigne.

In this songfic, I'm making Aerith a bitch. A stupid bitch. I'm sorry all, I just think that Tifa fits better with Cloud than Aerith with Cloud.

Tifa looked over to Cloud and Aerith. Aerith was boring Cloud with her lame and stupid jokes, and Cloud sat there, checking his watch every 5 minutes. Apparently, Aerith had forced Cloud to spend one hour of 'quality time' with her everyday. Suddenly, Tifa just couldn't take it. Why did Cloud even stay with Aerith? She started humming a song under her breath, and before she knew it, she had gotten louder and louder. She crawled onto the bar countertop, and Cloud looked at her, startled, while Aerith glared at her for disturbing her 'quality time' with Cloud. 

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I could be your girlfriend  
_

Tifa caressed Cloud's face, and he leaned into her touch, while with her other hand, she was pushing Aerith away from Cloud. She ran her hands through his spiky hair.

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
No it's not a secret  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I want to be your girlfriend_

Everyone knew that Tifa liked Cloud. And everyone agreed silently that Tifa would be better with Cloud. Yuffie had exclaimed it loudly, with a 'Booyaka' (sorry, that's Selphie's word, but I couldn't resist…). Vincent had given her a silent nod of approval. As much as Barrett slightly disliked Cloud, and the fact that he was overprotective of Tifa and treated Tifa like a little sister, gave a grunt and told her to 'go ahead, as long as you're not fucking Reno'.

_You're so fine  
I want you mine  
You're so delicious  
I think about ya all the time  
You're so addictive  
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?  
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious  
And Hell Yeah  
I'm the motherfucking princess  
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right  
_

Cid gruffly agreed with Barrett. Nanaki had given her one of his 'wisdom' speeches, and she knew, herself, that Cloud liked her.

_She's like so whatever  
You could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about!  
_

She sat herself down in Cloud's lap, much to the displeasure of Aerith. Aerith whined and tried to push Tifa off, but Tifa, of course, was stronger, and shoved Aerith onto the ground. The bar customers hid their growing laughter behind their hands.

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I could be your girlfriend  
_

She stood up and dragged Cloud outside, crushing him against the wall and kissing him. Cloud, as surprised as he was, took little time to respond. Aerith came out and gave a little _gasp_ when she saw them making out against the wall.

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
No it's not a secret  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I want to be your girlfriend_

Aerith attempted to bitch-slap Tifa, but Tifa was way too fast. She did a low kick, and swept Aerith off her feet. The pink-clad girl landed in a puddle of mud, brown staining her "perfect" pink dress.

_I can see the way, I see the way you look at me  
And even when you look away I know you think of me  
I know you talk about me all the time again and again  
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear  
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear  
I don't want to hear you say her name ever again  
(And again and again and again!)  
_

Aerith stood up, face full of fury. She took a step, fully intending to go up the Tifa and punch her, but once she took that step, she slipped, and fell face-first into the mud.

_She's like so whatever  
You could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about!  
_

Tifa laughed loudly, as did Cloud and the other patrons of that bar that came out to watch the cat-fight between the pink-clad bitch and the barmaid.

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I could be your girlfriend  
_

She kissed Cloud on the lips before turning her attention back to Aerith. Aerith now splashed her way over to Tifa, face red with anger, and attempted to use Firaga on her. The spell failed.

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
No it's not a secret  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I want to be your girlfriend_

Tifa put Aerith in a headlock, not enough to harm her, but enough to stop her from moving. She bent down, arm still wrapped around Aerith's head, and grabbed a scoop of mud.

_In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
Cause I can, cause I can do it better  
There's no other  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid  
What the hell were you thinking?!  
_

She plopped the mud on Aerith's hair and smeared it all around. Aerith screamed.

_Oh! In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
Cause I can, cause I can do it better  
There's no other  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid  
What the hell were you thinking?!_

Tifa let go. Aerith stumbled forwards, kneeling on the grass, coughing. She turned her head back and glared at Tifa. Tifa smiled back. Aerith got up, went over to Cloud, and started clutching onto his arm.

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I could be your girlfriend_

He had a disgusted look on her face. It's not very nice to have a mud monster, formerly known as your girlfriend, to be hanging off you. He shook her off, and she fell into the mud…_again_.

_Hey, hey! You, you!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
No it's not a secret  
Hey, hey! You, you!  
I want to be your girlfriend!_

_Hey, hey!_

Aerith screamed angrily, turned around and stomped back home. Everyone laughed and Tifa went to stand by Cloud. She put her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her waist as everyone went back inside.

R-R-REVIEW P-P-PLEASE!


End file.
